Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
