He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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