420 ftw
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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