You smell like a Billy Joel song
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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