I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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