I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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