I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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