You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
