my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dignity is for republicans.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
