just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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