he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
