So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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