he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
