I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
