There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize