Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
