i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize