i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
