Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
