Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
