I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
