There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
