so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
