life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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