wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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