She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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