dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
