Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
