why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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