What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
