hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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