break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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