Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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