did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
