Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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