The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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