my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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