the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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