its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think people are normalizing furries
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
