we have officially lost it.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
