I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
