Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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