After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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