I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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