We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
