He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
