it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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