things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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