There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
