no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
