I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
