just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
