I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
