I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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