It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
