hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
