Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
