she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
