Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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