In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
