theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
