just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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