Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
