She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
