mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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