The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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