he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
