My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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