I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
