Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize