She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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